"The Bachelor" = Schadenfreude

I wrote this for work recently. My boss had to edit some stuff out for length, but here is the full version.

_________________________________________

As you may have heard, the 19th season of “The Bachelor” premiered Monday (Jan. 5).

For a period of time in college, I had a boyfriend whose family I would see quite often, and I had very little in common with any of them. Conversation was often sparse. When I learned that his mom and sister were avid “Bachelor” fans, I watched season 16 in its entirety for the sake of being more relatable to them.

Bachelor fans may remember that this was the season with wine-maker Ben Flajnik, and that, much to the dismay of everyone watching, he ultimately chose the woman who was framed as the villain from the get-go: Courtney.

For those who may not know, “The Bachelor” is a reality show in which 25 women compete for the love of one man. Through a series of dates over a period of SIX whole weeks, the bachelor whittles down the group of women from 25 to one — who he usually proposes to. Cat-fights and betrayals ensue.

Sounds like a foolproof way to find a spouse, right?

I found myself sucked into the show as soon as I started it. But at the end, I was left wondering: Who on EARTH would put themselves through this?

Consider first that of the 26 couples that have been brought together between the two shows, “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette,” only five are still together. FIVE. That’s about 19 percent. And, of those five couples, only three ever married.

Sure, everyone on the show is gorgeous enough to be a model. But isn’t it concerning that, despite their good looks, the contestants had to resort to a reality show to find love? I mean, is there a reason they couldn’t just awkwardly date people they’ve met in real life, like the rest of us? I’d be suspicious.

Also, for a year in college I lived with two other girls. We had enough drama between just the three of us, and we didn’t have reality show high jinks thrown in to stir the pot. You absolutely could not pay me enough to live with 24 other women, especially adding in the factor that we would all be chasing after the same guy! That just sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Finally, heartbreak is not just something they sing about in country songs — it’s real. Why would someone risk having their heartbreak broadcast to thousands (if not more) of viewers? I remember watching fan-favorite Kacie B. immediately after she was dumped by Bachelor Ben. Sitting in a limo and with tears and mascara running down her face, she wailed to the camera: “What happened? What the [expletive] happened?!”

The Germans have a word for this: schadenfreude, “pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.”